Three years ago today, I embarked on a trip that would forever change my life. Trips can have that affect, especially if you’re on the brink of a complete transformation. My transformation was unfolding slowly and painfully in real time. I was in the process of separating from my husband after 20 years of marriage. Overtime, the relationship became a toxic soup of gaslighting, manipulation, and control. Separating yourself from such a situation takes time, patience, and strength. Change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to cultivate. It takes time to ramp things up. I needed something that would help restart my engine so to speak. I needed something that would kick things into gear. Something that would ignite my fire, and prepare me for my race……the divorce.
A trip I thought, would do just that. But this couldn’t be just any trip. This had to be THE TRIP. It had to be fantastic, adventurous and most of all remote. I also wanted to gain a spiritual experience out of it. I wanted to be a part of something that would help me along my journey. I looked at this trip as preparation for what lies ahead. Soldiers don’t go into war without completing boot camp. This trip was my boot camp.
Agadir, Morocco
I googled spiritual retreats and Booking Retreats came up. I can’t say enough about this site. You can search by location, category, (meditation, yoga, etc), and date. Its super intuitive and easy to use. I immediately created my profile and started saving places I liked. Morocco was first on my list. Agadir is a small coastal town off the Moroccan coast known for its surfing. I had plenty of miles saved from all my trips to NY. All I had to do was come up with money for accommodations/food. What’s also great about this site is that everything is spelled out for you, what’s included vs what’s not. Many if not all of the retreats include food and accommodations.
I chose to attend a Women’s Retreat hosted at Riad Dar Haven. Riad’s are open air concepts and are build around a courtyard/garden. Imagine every morning having breakfast and the sky above you is open. A truly unique experience. Renee, the host, was warm and inviting and glided along the Riad in an ethereal sort of way.
The Solo Traveler
Why would a woman want to travel solo so desperately and urgently? I felt at times that I was running from my pain yet knew there was no escaping my fate. Divorce will do that. As painful as it may be, divorce has become an essential ingredient, a necessary evil for many including myself. Divorce will have you confused, sad, angry, and will make you feel like your head is spinning off its axis.
Divorce will make you question everything you thought you knew about someone. It will also make you even more disappointed for not believing them the first time.
“When someone shows who who they are you must believe them”. Dr. Maya Angelou
Once I booked the trip, anticipation was ruminating over me like a child waiting for their first puppy. For the first time in my life, I was doing something for myself. This was for my benefit and my well-being rather than someone else’s. It was exciting, and exhilarating. Upon my arrival, after much rest, I was greeted by Renee. Each morning we had our circle meditation and oracle readings. This was exactly what I was looking for.
I took a few walks along the beach and had my first camel ride. The camel was appropriately named, Boom Boom. For a moment, I felt like a character in Austin Powers. Pardon me, I say again, Boom Boom? It was by far the funniest introduction and exactly what I needed. Laughter has a way of easing tensions and opening you up to the possibilities of life. I was feeling down shortly before my intro to Boom Boom.
Journal Entry May 20, 2022 I noticed many different types of rocks and they were all beautiful, reds and yellows. Many were stuck or embedded in the sand. As the waves came crashing down, some of the rocks were given an opportunity to potentially dislodge themselves. I preface potentially as some were still there as I was walking back. I began to view these rocks as impressions of me. I’ve been stuck, embedded in that sand (house) for many years. I’m now ready for the tide to loosen the sand around me, and free me, so that I can forge my own path. And so…I wait.
The anxiety I was feeling at this time was at an all time high. I needed to find a new home for myself and my 3 children. And I needed to do it quickly. I had already seen half of dozen places at this point and no luck. I also encountered bias when viewing these properties. There were questions regarding my personal status. If I was married and whether I could afford the property. You don’t realize peoples bias’ until you’re on the receiving end of it. Its a stark reminder that as women we still encounters these microaggressions. Still.
I returned from Morocco refreshed, invigorated, and ready to tackle the next challenge…my divorce. I had missed my children so much. I remained hopeful that everything I had learned from Renee would be applied. I felt my preparation was complete and I was ready to enter the race. However, I had no idea what was waiting for me upon my return. Like any race its not about how you start but how you finish that counts. For me the finish line was a long way in sight.
Tips for Traveling Solo
- change dollars into local currency. not everywhere accepts the dollar
- get travel insurance, Nomad is highly rated. World Nomads
- tell someone where you’re going and include all contact info.
- have a schedule for when to check in with family or friends so they know you’re okay
